Back From the Brink
by VolrathB
Summary: After Hanako's bad ending, Hisao's life completely falls apart. Can his friends put aside their differences and save him? [Complete]
1. Chapter 1: Farewells

**Author's Note: Hi. I just played this game for the first time recently and was pretty taken aback by how emotional it is. All the routes really got into my head but surprisingly, the ending that haunts me the most is Hanako's bad one, which I saw on YouTube after I was finished with her storyline. I was also intrigued by the realization that, even though it's a hard hitting scene, it's also ambiguous about what happened next. I started to wonder - what would happen to Hisao after such a devastating rejection? Was there any hope they might get past this? One thing led to another and here we are. I hope you all enjoy this story.**

 _"_ _I hate Lilly…and I hate you more than anyone!"_

Hisao finally arrived back at his room, after a walk that took twice as long as the typical return trip from the girls dormitories. He didn't really notice the difference after spending the entire trip in a trance as Hanako's furious yells repeated in his head. How could he have messed everything up so badly? There had been warning signs and the hindsight was driving him nuts.

He thought he knew what it was like to have a broken heart following the discovery of his arrhythmia and his transfer to Yamaku. He had no idea.

Once he got inside and shut the door, he cracked. Letting out an anguished yell, he swept everything off his desk, including his medicine canisters. None of them opened upon hitting the floor, which was good because he probably wouldn't be able to sort them all back into their proper cases. With the desk cleared, he brought down both fists as hard as he could.

"God damn it! I just wanted to help you! I just…"

Hisao's tirade was cut short by an onset of loud sobs. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried so hard. He had suppressed the urge plenty of times over the last several months, but this time it forced its way out almost like vomit. When it finally seemed to recede, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Was it a good idea to call Lilly in the state he was in? Probably not. Then again, it was sometime in the late morning in Scotland now, if he remembered the time difference correctly. Waiting until morning would mean calling in the dead of night. She was going through enough dealing with her sick aunt without him interrupting her sleep. He was nervous about calling, but Lilly had to know what was in store for her when she returned to Japan.

After another awkward exchange with her mother, Lilly picked up the phone.

"Hello, Hisao. It's nice to hear from you."

"Hi," Hisao said, his voice trembling. "How are you all holding up?"

"We're doing fine," she said. "But what about you? You sound terrible."

He should have known she would pick up on his feelings immediately, even from thousands of miles away. He wanted to reassure her, but couldn't find the words. "Something happened with Hanako, didn't it?"

At the mention of her name, Hisao began to cry again, not as uncontrollably as a few minutes earlier but still impossible to hide.

"What's wrong?!" Lilly asked. He could imagine her family members noticing her worry and making this whole situation even more awkward for her. He detested himself right now.

"I ruined everything," he said through tears. "I tried to take your advice but it was too late. She hates me."

"Oh Hisao, she doesn't hate you."

"She said she did! And it was pretty convincing. She said I make her feel broken and the worst part is that she's right. I just wanted to protect her. The world's so cruel and she's already been through so much…but she didn't want that and I was too stupid to figure it out on my own! It's all my fault!" He had to stop and focus his efforts on fighting more sobs.

"I'll be back in a few days," Lilly said gently. "We'll sort this all out, I promise."

"Lilly…you should know that…that she sounded angry with you too. I guess she feels like we've both been treating her like a little kid." He stopped short of revealing that Hanako had claimed to hate her too. Hisao couldn't bear to hurt her that way.

Lilly sighed. "I had a feeling. Oh, I wish I had seen this coming sooner. I wish we both had. But she and I have had ups and downs before, so don't concern yourself."

"I…I don't know what to do, but thank you. You've been such a dear friend to me."

"Hang in there, okay? If you need to talk, you can call anytime but I'll be home soon."

"Okay. Goodbye." She returned the farewell and he hung up. He didn't deserve to have such a sweet, kind person in his life. Lilly would be better off without him. Everyone would.

"Hang in there." That didn't sound like a bad idea, except that the ceiling was probably too low. He would have to come up with something else. With his condition, it probably wouldn't be very hard. Laying back on the bed, he had the sensation of sinking into a dark hole. Everything good seemed to drown in creeping darkness. Maybe it really was time to put all this suffering to an end, but not yet. There were a few conversations he wanted to have first.

It took every ounce of determination he had to drag himself out of bed the next morning. He thought about cleaning up the mess next to his desk but concluded that there was no point. As he stepped outside, his next door neighbor Kenji was waiting for him.

"Good morning," Hisao said weakly.

"You sure about that?" Kenji asked. "I heard some…uh, yelling from your room last night. Is everything okay?"

Hisao had been too far gone to consider that possibility before shrieking and trashing his desk. "Just.…down in the dumps."

"Girl trouble? You don't have to answer, I know that's it. This is what they do, man. Reel you in close and then stab you in the back. Then you're so hurt that you don't even notice when they come to take all your rights away."

Normally Hisao had no patience for Kenji's conspiracy theories but he was feeling charitable today. "You're right. I went too deep undercover and fell for my mark. Then she sliced my heart up like a teppanyaki chef."

"I've been there, man. If you need to talk, let me know."

"Thanks," Hisao said. He gave Kenji a friendly pat on the shoulder and left for class. Paying attention to the lecture (something he wasn't always inclined to do) helped create a welcome distraction. It was still impossible not to think of Hanako when her empty seat came into view, but it was the first time he was actually grateful for her poor attendance. Having to face her after the previous day, and having to pretend in front of the class that everything was just fine, would have been unbearable.

At lunch, he made a beeline for Shizune and Misha's table. They would likely disappear for their student council activities this afternoon so now would be the best time to see them. Misha greeted him warmly but Shizune had that familiar analytical look of hers. He was used to that but today it felt especially penetrating.

After some small talk, Misha finally asked the question he was dreading. "How is Hanako doing today? Is she feeling well?"

"Well, actually…." his voice trailed off.

Shizune signed something to Misha while never taking her eyes off him. "Shicchan wants to know what happened…and I do too!"

"Hanako dumped me."

"WHAT?!" Misha slapped the table with her hand before realizing she hadn't yet translated for Shizune. After a moment of shock, she adjusted her glasses and put on a stern face.

"[What are you just sitting around here for? If you love her, fight for her!]"

"I appreciate the sentiment," Hisao said. "But it won't work in this case. The whole reason this happened was because I was…too attentive. Smothering, even."

"[You know her better than I do, but I would be surprised if she didn't come to her senses. After all, without you the only person she ever talks to is Satou.]"

Enough with the flattery already, he wanted to sarcastically remark. Unfortunately, sarcasm often got lost in translation while speaking with Shizune and he didn't come here to pick a fight. Not today.

"I just wanted to thank you both," he said, realizing it must have come off as very abrupt. "You two were my first friends here and meeting you made me feel like I might be okay at Yamaku. I'm really grateful for that."

Misha theatrically put both hands over her heart. "Aww, thank you Hicchan!"

Shizune wasn't signing anything and continued to study Hisao. He was afraid she was going to call him out (sign him out?) any second until the bell mercifully rang and it was time to get back to class. The three of them did more group work but the topic didn't come up again. Hisao figured if Shizune had suspected his motives, she wouldn't stay quiet. Maybe she just wasn't used to being thanked? It certainly seemed like all of her hard work on the student council went unappreciated by most of the school.

On his way out of the classroom, Mutou stopped him and handed him worksheets to give to Hanako. Hisao had seen this coming and wondered how anyone got Hanako's missed work to her before they became friends. It wouldn't be easy to stand outside her door again, knowing that she was inside hating him, but he would do it…just not yet. He had another stop he wanted to make. Wandering outside of the school, he was thankful for the sunny day as he made his way to the track. A few people were running and sure enough, one of them was Emi. Upon getting closer, he saw Rin laying on the grass with her eyes closed. Was she actually asleep? It could be hard to tell with her.

Emi noticed him and slowed down to a jog before making her way onto the grass. "Rin, look who's here!"

Rin sat up slowly, looking a bit like a vampire getting out of a coffin. She turned her head towards Hisao. "Hello."

"So you finally decided to get back in shape, eh?" Emi teased. "Took you long enough, but better late than never!"

"Nah, I just wanted to see you guys. I've missed hanging out."

"You missed us?" Emi replied. "You big dummy, all you ever had to do was come here in the morning or find us on the roof during lunch. But I guess you've been busy."

"Busy with Mystery Toilet Girl," Rin added. Hisao had heard her use this nickname for Hanako once before, in reference to some incident he had never gotten more details on. He had found it distasteful but now there was a mischievous sort of comfort in it.

"Yeah," he said. "Except this time she decided to take a dump on me instead of in the toilet."

Emi laughed. "Eww!"

"You must have needed a long shower," Rin said, completely serious.

"I have a few more laps to do," Emi said. "But if you ever want to spend time together, don't be afraid to ask. Maybe we can take a walk down to the Shanghai."

"Thanks," Hisao said. "Before you go, I just want to let you know how much I admire you. Both of you. The way you two pursue your passions regardless of what obstacles you face is really amazing."

Emi blushed. "I…I don't know what to say."

"Why are you talking like you're gonna die?" Rin asked. Hisao's blood ran cold.

"He's had a bad breakup," Emi said. "He needs to cling to his friends a little bit. That's what happens."

She had really bailed him out. Thankfully, Rin's mind already seemed to be elsewhere. There was one more destination on the agenda before retiring to his room for the night. He knew this would be hard, but it was even harder than he had feared. Walking towards the girls dormitories felt like descending back into Hell. He had kept himself busy today and hadn't thought too much about what happened the last time he was here. The hurt and shame were coming back in full force as he made his way to Hanako's room. Thankfully, it would all be over soon.

He stood outside her door for several moments before working up the nerve to speak. "Hanako, I…I brought you some worksheets from class. I'll just leave them by the door and you can pick them up whenever you want. Also…I won't be in class tomorrow, so if you go, you won't have to worry about seeing me. No sense in both of us falling behind. Okay…bye."

There was no response. Hisao knew there would be no response and was actually a little grateful. He began to slowly walk back down the hall but then stopped. This couldn't be it. This couldn't be the last exchange between them. He ripped a page out of his notebook.

 _I'm so sorry, Hanako. You're not broken and I hate myself for making you feel that way. You may hate me, but I love you. Goodbye._

Tears fell from his face and stained the page. That was a nice little dramatic flourish, he thought. He couldn't believe he was crying again. She had turned him into such a wimp.

Hisao went to bed early and slept late in the morning. He had made up his mind on how to proceed but he had to wait until after classes had started in order to pull it off. He felt almost like a secret agent as he snuck around the grounds and made his way back to the track. Just as he planned, there was nobody else there.

As he stepped out onto the asphalt, Hisao took a few moments to reflect. Despite how awful he was feeling, yesterday had been nice. Telling everyone what they meant to him was an experience he was thankful for. Better to end things now on such a good note than stick around and inevitably spiral further into depression. They would all get sick of him eventually. He would depend on them too much and they would reject him, just like Hanako. He didn't care to feel that pain again. The pain to come would be downright pleasant compared to that.

After taking a deep breath, he began to sprint down the track. It had been a long time since he let himself move like this. The sudden rush of the wind against his face made him smile. This wasn't a bad way to go at all. Right on cue, his heart began to object. Pushing through the pain, he kept running, trying to keep track of how many laps he had done.

Hisao stumbled onto his hands and knees. It was coming and there was no going back now. Still, he knew this wouldn't be enough to get the job done. Fighting hard against the searing pain in his chest, he stood back up and continued to run. The world began to blur but he kept going, hoping to complete at least one more lap.

He couldn't. Hisao's legs completely gave way and he fell flat on his face. He could barely even move now. This was it. He could tell this was a bad one, hopefully enough to seal the deal. Then he heard a familiar voice cry out.

"Hisao!"

Oh no, he thought as he drifted off. Nobody was supposed to see this.


	2. Chapter 2: The Meeting

Emi Ibarazaki was pissed.

Three days earlier, she had taken a spontaneous walk out to the track in the late morning to try and find a sketching pencil Rin had misplaced the day before and was deeply concerned about. Instead, she saw her friend Hisao sprinting down the track like he was being chased by wild dogs. His heart condition quickly caught up with him and she made it to the track just as he collapsed.

After calling an ambulance on her cellphone, she ran back towards the school as fast as her prosthetic legs could carry her, which was pretty damn fast. Barreling into the nurse's office, she told him what had happened and the two of them returned to the track. With her help, he carried Hisao towards the main gate where the ambulance would meet them. Hisao was still alive, but every second could have been the difference between life and death.

Emi jumped into the ambulance with Hisao while the nurse headed back to his office to call Mr and Mrs Nakai. After several excruciating hours at the hospital, his parents arrived and thanked her profusely for saving their son's life. The doctor emerged and informed everyone that Hisao was out of danger. The details of his explanation were already foggy; Emi had been too agitated to take them all in. Something about "keyhole surgery" and a temporary pacemaker.

Hisao had been heavily drugged and barely conscious for three days after his surgery. Emi had been stopping at the hospital each day for two reasons. The first was that she was worried about him. The second was that she really wanted to yell at him. When he first came to Yamaku, the nurse had recommended "light exercise." What part of "light" did he not understand?

It looked like today would be the day she was waiting for. The doctor informed Hisao's parents that he was awake and coherent. They went into his room for about an hour and came out looking shaken up but less worried than they had been. It was her turn now.

When she walked into the room, she was surprised at how defeated he looked.

"Well, look who's awake!"

"Hi Emi," he said softly.

"Hi yourself, buster!" she scolded. "What in the hell were you thinking? A guy with your condition can't just ignore exercise for weeks and then suddenly run at full speed! I thought you were smarter than this. Were you TRYING to kill yourself?!"

Hisao sighed. "Can't even do that right."

Emi was stunned for a moment before becoming seized by a white hot rage. Before she knew what she was doing, she pulled her right arm back and slapped Hisao across the face. " _You dumb bastard_! I ought to-"

"You ought to what?" he asked, barely reacting to the slap. "Kill me? Go right ahead. Maybe you'll have better luck."

"Who ARE you?!" she shouted, grabbing him by the hospital gown. "Do you know what this has been like for your parents?! For me?!"

He didn't have anything to say. She was about to berate him some more when she heard a familar voice from the hallway. Emi took a quick look and saw Misha and Shizune making their way towards the room. Misha was carrying flowers and Shizune had what looked like a stack of papers. Probably homework.

"I thought so," she said. "It's Hakamichi and her noisy translator. If she finds out what you pulled, she might actually kill you."

Hisao sighed. "It doesn't matter."

"We're going to keep that little detail to ourselves," Emi said. "If you tell anyone else, I'll castrate you. We're in a hospital, so I'm sure you'll survive."

"Why do you care?"

"Because if you're going to get through this, you're going to need all the friends you can get. It's not going to help if they're all as pissed off as I am."

Before she left the room, Emi pointed a finger at Hisao. "We are not done talking about this."

"Hello!" Misha called out when Emi was back in the hallway. "How is Hicchan?"

"He's awake now," she answered. "When you're done, I'd like to talk to you two if that's okay."

Shizune signed something to Misha, who promptly translated. "[Of course. I was going to suggest the same thing. I'm told that we have you to thank for his survival.]"

"Yeah, but it took some running through the hallways." Emi couldn't resist. Shizune was always giving her shit about that.

"[We can make an exception for an emergency, I'm sure. Just don't get used to it."]

As the two of them went in, Emi sat on a nearby chair. She hadn't shown it, but what Hisao had revealed shook her to the core. What bothered her most was that she didn't even consider the possibility when he visited that day and had sweetly complimented her and Rin out of the blue. Rin had seen right through him and even called him out, but Emi had dismissed it as just her usual strangeness.

She held both hands over her mouth and struggled not to cry. She would not break down in a public place like this. Emi heard soft footsteps approaching and glanced over to see Hanako timidly looking around.

Emi got up and walked over to her. "Hi, Hanako. He's okay now."

She wouldn't make eye contact. "Thank…thank you for telling me."

"Would you like to see him? Shizune and Misha are in there now but-"

"No," Hanako said suddenly. "No, I…I can't."

Emi sighed. "What happened between you two?"

Hanako had no answer and fidgeted nervously. She should have known that wouldn't work. "It's all right, you don't have to tell me."

"I…I think I'm going to leave now," Hanako said. "I just…wanted to make sure he was going to live."

She began to walk away but Emi was concerned. "Hanako, if you need to talk…I can try and help."

"Thank you," Hanako said. "And thank you for saving him."

And with that, she was gone again. Emi was actually a little relieved about that. She wasn't really the consoling type but Hanako just looked so upset that she couldn't help reaching out at least a little bit. She and Hisao were really a strange match. Getting responses out of Hanako could be like pulling teeth, but for a while Hisao seemed to have formed a real bond with her. Emi couldn't imagine she would hurt a fly but whatever incident had happened with Hisao must have been intense for him to do this to himself.

The whole experience, from finding Hisao unconscious to sitting in a hospital, was starting to dig up some feelings she had no interest in dealing with. She needed to run. As soon as she was done talking to the girls, Emi would be back on the track, doing her best to leave all of this at the starting line.

Shizune and Misha finally came out, with the former looking as stoic as ever and the latter seeming on the verge of tears. Shizune sat down in the chair next to Emi and wasted no time.

"[He is out of danger physically but his mood is what I am most concerned about.]"

"Me too," Emi said after Misha was finished translating.

"[He was acting strange even before this happened. Ikezawa's rejection combined with a sudden trauma like this has left him despondent. I worry he could do something rash if nobody intervenes.]"

She didn't know the half of it, Emi thought.

"[I'm going to set up a meeting tomorrow after classes in the student council room. I would appreciate your participation. You can bring that space cadet Tezuka, since I know she is friendly with Hisao as well.]"

"Her name is Rin and yeah, I will." Only Shizune could come off like a jerk while trying to do something caring. "What about Lilly? She and Hisao are pretty close."

"[According to my brother, Satou will be back at school this evening. We will get in touch with her.]"

"Your brother?" Emi asked. "Why would he know?"

"[Never mind that. I'll see you tomorrow.]"

"I'll tell you later," Misha whispered. Why she felt like she needed to whisper was anyone's guess.

Emi returned to Yamaku and relayed the news of the meeting to Rin, who reacted with one of her typical shrugs. She always came off as a little disconnected from the world around her, but Emi could tell that Rin was concerned about Hisao even if she couldn't really express it. After their short conversation, Emi realized on the walk back to the room that if Rin hadn't left one of her favorite pencils by the track, Hisao would be dead. Life was cruel and random, not that she needed any more proof of that.

The following afternoon, Emi and Rin arrived at the student council room at the same time as Lilly Satou. She looked uncharacteristically ragged, although given that she had just flown halfway around the world only to find out that one of her friends nearly died, it was easily understood.

"Welcome back," Emi said. "I'm sorry you had to come home to news like this."

"Is that Emi?"

"Yeah."

Lilly searched for Emi's hands and grabbed tightly once she found them. "I can never thank you enough for what you did. You are a hero."

She blushed. "I was just in the right place at the right time."

"I will never forget it," Lilly said emphatically. "Shall we go inside?"

The three of them walked in to see Shizune and Misha on opposite ends of the blackboard. Emi and Lilly sat in desks next to each other while Rin opted to sit on top of hers. There was something written on the blackboard already, which Emi decided to read aloud for Lilly's sake.

"Operation: Restore Hisao's Spirit."

"Thanks for coming, everyone!" Misha said with her typical lack of concern for the volume of her voice. "I know that we don't all know each other that well, but we're here because we all care about Hicchan and he needs us now. I'm going to turn things over to Shicchan so she can explain her plan."

Using a retractable metal pointer, Shizune motioned to the chalkboard before setting it down so she could sign for Misha. "[Hisao is suffering and it is our goal to put an end to it as efficiently as possible. Each of us has something to offer and with our combined efforts, I'm confident we can help him get past his troubles. To start, Misha and I will involve him in our planning for the Tanabata festival."]

Lilly exhaled and sounded mildly frustrated. Emi had heard gossip about the feud between her and Shizune, but had not yet seen it in action.

"We're not trying to permanently recruit Hicchan," Misha said, seemingly aware of what people would assume. "He has said no before and we'll respect that. It's a temporary thing."

"[Laziness at a time like this could be deadly. This is a chance to remind him that he is a valued part of the Yamaku community and to give him a sense of accomplishment."]

Shizune motioned to Misha, who started a list on the blackboard. The first item read "Hakamichi/Mikado: Community Involvement" Next, she pointed at Emi.  
"[Ibarazaki, you're next."]

"Right," she said. "I can't fix a broken heart but I know what it takes to get a body back into shape. Once the nurse thinks he's ready for physical activity again, I'm going to put him on a regular exercise schedule and clean up his diet. I've heard that if the body feels better, the mind might too."

The others looked somewhat uncomfortable and she realized why. "I know it sounds a little scary since running is what got Hisao into this situation. I'll make sure he takes it slow and steady and if he tries to weasel out of the daily routine, I'm going to break down the door to his room and drag him to the track by his ear."

That might have sounded a little too angry. The others didn't know the full story and assumed Hisao was only guilty of not pacing himself. Emi wanted to vent, but they couldn't know. They didn't deserve to feel the frustration and hurt that she was dealing with.

Misha added to the list, "Ibarazaki: Exercise/Diet."

["Tezuka, what about you?"]

Rin suddenly shook her head. She must have completely spaced out. "Oh. I…I don't know. What are we doing again?"

Shizune rolled her eyes and pointed angrily to the blackboard.

"Oh right, that. Well, I…I'm not sure. Maybe he and I could listen to the rain fall? I think that's good for my spirit. Oh wait, but what if it doesn't rain? Listening to the sunlight would be boring. Hmm."

"[Why don't you try and come up with something during the long weekend?"]

Emi reached over and gave Rin a brief pat on the shoulder, although she didn't seem to notice. Misha stared thoughtfully at the blackboard for a few moments before writing "Tezuka: TBD."

"[That leaves you, Satou.]"

Lilly stood up out of her seat, making Emi briefly wonder if she and Rin had been disrespectful. "First, I want to thank you for making this effort."

There was no response so Lilly continued. "Distractions will be important, but Hisao also needs to address his feelings. He is not the type to speak frankly about his struggles but he will need to in order to heal and for that, he will need to feel safe. I will try and provide that for him."

She was taking on the most difficult job for herself. Emi was impressed but definitely not envious. Misha wrote "Satou: Emotional Support" on the board.

"We have different methods, but the basis for everything we are discussing is the same. Hisao needs love. I'm not talking about romance or dating or anything of the sort. I'm talking about care and understanding, so I hope the rest of you are gentle with him should he resist your suggestions."

["Your advice is duly noted."]

Lilly wasn't finished yet. "There is another topic we haven't yet addressed and that's Hanako. She is suffering too."

Shizune looked annoyed. "[I don't know how I can help someone who won't even leave her room."]

Emi was about to speak up and inform the others that Hanako had visited the hospital to check on Hisao, but stopped herself. The poor girl was just so shy she probably didn't want anyone to know.

"Might I remind you, Shizune, that you are her student representative as well?" Lilly asked.

"[I haven't forgotten.]" There was more, but Misha abruptly stopped translating.

"Shicchan, are you sure you want to say that?"

Shizune gave her a deadly glare and Misha continued, delivering the rest of "Shicchan's" comments in a nervous tone of voice. "[If we truly are talking about giving love, then I don't know what to suggest for someone who was already given love and tossed it aside."]

Lilly gripped her walking stick so hard Emi wondered if she was about to beat Shizune over the head with it. "That's heartless, even for you!"

Was she being heartless or was she trying to be loyal to a friend she clearly cared deeply about? Emi thought. Probably both. She glanced at Shizune and saw a devilish grin cross her face and realized she was savoring the chance of sparring with her nemesis. This wouldn't be helpful, but who would intervene? Certainly not Rin and Misha wouldn't dare.

"That's enough, okay? We didn't come here to argue."

"You're right," Lilly said. "I believe our business is concluded so I will be leaving."

Emi turned towards Shizune. She felt a little bad for her too. "Thank you for doing this. Hisao is lucky to have you as a friend."

"[I'll check in with you all in a few days."]

With the two student council members staying behind to presumably deal with other business, the remaining three girls made their way to the girls dormitories. As Lilly said goodbye and headed towards her room, Emi called out to her.

"Tell Hanako that I'm thinking of her, okay?"

"I will," Lilly replied. "Thank you again, Emi. I expect that we will speak again soon."

Rin didn't say a word until they returned to their own rooms. Just as she was about to disappear behind the door, she stopped in her tracks. Emi could practically see the light bulb appear over her head.

"Emi, I've got an idea."


	3. Chapter 3: Caregiver's Burden

The night before the first meeting of Operation: Restore Hisao's Spirit, Lilly Satou returned to Japan with her sister Akira. She had hoped to sleep on the plane but her thoughts were full of worry for Hanako and especially Hisao. His distraught weeping on the phone had burned itself into her brain. The two of them were her most treasured friends at Yamaku and Lilly was determined to make things right.

As the sisters exited the airport terminal, only Hideaki Hakamichi was waiting for them. Lilly hadn't expected Hanako to show up but she was hoping Hisao might. The ride back to Yamaku was quiet as both Lilly and Akira avoided discussing the tough decision they would have to make. Their father had made it very clear that he expected them to return to Scotland permanently. Lilly didn't care for the idea, to put it mildly, but it was hard to imagine disobeying her father. The situation with Hisao and Hanako would be difficult but now there was a ticking clock adding even more pressure.

When she finally got back to the girls dormitories, Lilly was so tired she felt like she could lay down in the hallway and sleep there. Soon she had taken the familiar amount of steps that led to Hanako's room, which was next door to her own. According to Hisao, Hanako was frustrated with her so she needed to tread carefully.  
Standing outside the door, Lilly took a deep breath and spoke. "Hanako, I'm back. I…I spoke to Hisao and he told me what happened. I know that my behavior has upset you and I am sorry. I will leave things up to you. I missed you. If you want to talk, you know where to find me."

No response. Lilly wanted to insist that Hanako either let her in or follow her to her room, but she suppressed the urge. Hanako had to make those decisions on her own, regardless of what Lilly thought was best.

Lilly entered her room and was glad to finally let her suitcase fall to the floor. It was already well into the evening, but her sense of time had gone awry after flying through so many time zones. It would likely take two or three days before she was adjusted. She changed into her pajamas and reclined on her bed, alone with her thoughts and unsure when she would drift off to sleep.

Some amount of time later (a half hour, maybe?) there was a knock at the door. A timid sort of knock that most people without Lilly's attuned sense of hearing might not even notice.

"Come in, Hanako."

Her friend opened the door slowly and walked in with even more trepidation than usual. "H..hi, Lilly."

She sat up on the bed. "It's good to hear your voice."

"Has anyone…told you about Hisao?"

"He called me the night you two had your fight," Lilly answered. "I know-"

"I'm not talking about that." Hanako interrupted her, which was rare.

"What happened?"

"Oh no," Hanako said. "I was…really hoping you already knew. He.." Her voice trailed off.

"Hanako, please. Now I'm worried. More worried, I should say."

"He was…running on the track or something and had a heart attack. If Emi hadn't gotten to him, he…he might be dead."

"What?! Where is he now?!"

"The hospital. They did some surgery and he's alive. I think he will come back soon…but I'm not sure."

As the initial shock wore off, Lilly found the news to be stranger and stranger. Hisao wasn't one for hard exercise; he had a tendency to get winded even from just a walk to the Shanghai and back. Why would he suddenly be running on the track?

"Hanako, had you spoken to Hisao since the night he called me?"

There was a pause before her answer. "No. But…he left me this note. I brought it but I…I'm scared to read it."

"Well, I won't be able to read it myself unless it's in Braille, which would surprise me."

Her attempt at a joke fell flat as she heard Hanako continue to nervously crinkle a piece of paper. Again Lilly had to stop herself from insisting that Hanako do what she wished, which was to read whatever Hisao had written her. She was gaining a greater understand of Hanako's frustration because of this, since it forced Lilly to realize just how often she treated her friend as if she didn't know what was best for herself and needed to be steered in the right direction.

Thankfully, Hanako eventually decided to read it on her own.

"I'm so sorry, Hanako. You're not broken and I hate myself for making you feel that way. You may hate me, but…but…but I…"

She couldn't get through that sentence and Lilly heard her sniffle and wipe her eyes. After what felt like hours but was actually about two minutes, Hanako finished. "You may hate me, but I love you. Goodbye."

Goodbye. Lilly felt that word hit her with the force of a baseball bat. Her early suspicions were all but confirmed now. This was a suicide note. But did Hanako know that? Had she pieced the clues together? Lilly didn't dare draw attention to it just in case she hadn't. Instead she opened her arms wide and offered a hug.

Hanako rushed across the room and accepted the embrace. Lilly felt her body shake as she wept. "What am I going to do?!"

"What does your heart tell you?" Lilly asked.

"I…I don't know. I'm not sure how to feel anymore. I don't want Hisao to suffer, but I…but I hated the way he was treating me."

"Is that how you phrased it when you confronted him?"

"No, I…" Hanako paused. "I said that I hated _him_. Lilly, what was I thinking?! I said I hated him more than anyone!"

Her sobbing became so hysterical that she was almost shrieking, but she kept talking. She had to get these feelings out, just like Hisao would have to at some point. "If anyone ever said that to me, I'd…I'd…never forgive them!" She lost control again.

Lilly continued to hold her and let her cry. She hadn't heard Hanako this upset in a long time. Her budding relationship with Hisao seemed to be such a positive thing at first but whatever progress Hanako had made in finding confidence could be undone if this wasn't resolved properly.

"Lilly? When…when he called you, what was he like? Was he…was he mad?"

"No," Lilly said truthfully. "He was…full of self-loathing. He kept saying that it was his fault, that he had ruined everything. I think he would be quick to forgive you if given the chance, but do you want to forgive him?"

"I…I don't know," Hanako said. "But I…I do have questions for him. Even though it scares me to see him, I…I might need to. Just once at least."

"I think clearing the air would be very healthy," Lilly agreed. "Would you like me to ask him to come here when he's home from the hospital?"

Hanako had stopped crying but now she was trembling. The thought of facing Hisao after everything that had happened clearly made her nervous. Her reply was surprising.

"Yes."

Not long after that, Hanako was finally calm enough to go back to her room. Lilly laid back and struggled to get to sleep. Persistence paid off and she dozed for an indeterminate amount of time until the ringing phone woke her up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Lilly!"

"Good morning, Misha."

"Morning? Wahaha! It's almost noon, silly! Silly Lilly!"

Lilly sat up straight. It didn't feel like she had slept very long but clearly she had. "Is there something I can help you with, Misha?"

"Yeah! Have you heard about what happened to Hicchan?"

"Yes," Lilly said. "But I just got back in last night and haven't had a chance to visit him. How is he doing?"

Misha suddenly sounded much more serious, which was unusual for her. "He's recovering and they're going to send him home soon, but he's really sad. That's why I called, actually. Shicchan has a plan to help him."

"I'm listening."

"We're going to meet in the student council room after classes today. We know that you and Hicchan are pretty close so we're hoping you'll come."

Lilly was impressed. Shizune must have been committed to helping Hisao if she was willing to temporarily put aside their feud. "I'll be there."

"Great! See you then!"

The meeting started off well enough and Lilly had sincerely admired Shizune's approach to helping their mutual friend. However, when Lilly had introduced the possibility of trying to comfort Hanako as well, her cousin and former friend reverted to the nasty, judgmental person she usually was. While walking back with Emi and Rin, Lilly considered the possibility that Shizune might simply be feeling protective of Hisao. But if he could forgive Hanako, there was no reason why anyone else couldn't.

Hisao was discharged the next day, just in time for the three-day weekend. Misha had informed Lilly that she and Shizune were going to the hospital to make sure he got home safely. Emi, Rin and Lilly would meet them at the dormitories and have lunch with him outside. Shizune seemed to also understand that he was a suicide risk, as she instructed the group to make sure he spent as little time alone as possible during the long weekend.

The three girls found each other in the late morning. Lilly could hear that Emi was carrying something. After exchanging greetings, they waited quietly for a few minutes without incident. The others must have been running late.

Lilly tried to make conversation. "So Rin…have you come up with anything since the meeting?"

"Yes," Rin said.

"Can you tell me?" Lilly asked after a few awkward moments.

"I think he should draw," she answered. "Or maybe he would rather paint. I could show him acrylics. But maybe he would prefer pastels. Or oils. Maybe even watercolor."

"Isn't that a great idea?" Emi asked cheerfully.

"Yes, I imagine that it will be very cathartic." Imagining was all she could do when it came to this particular topic. For obvious reasons, the visual arts were a total mystery to her. However, it would be another opportunity for Hisao to get some of his feelings out in a safe environment. Rin would be the last person to criticize or judge whatever he decided to express.

The three of them were silent for another minute or two before Lilly spoke up again. She hadn't intended to bring this up, but she couldn't get it out of her head. "Emi, I need to ask you something."

"This got serious all of a sudden," Emi replied. "You're making me nervous, but go ahead."

"Hisao's heart attack...he did that to himself on purpose, didn't he?"

Emi gasped but then said nothing. The silence spoke volumes.

Tears formed in the corners of Lilly's eyes. It was the only thing they were good for. She fought against them, well aware that she was doing the opposite of what she felt both Hisao and Hanako would need to do in order to get through this.

Rin seemed to be lost in another dimension but Emi placed a hand on Lilly's shoulder. "I know. It was hard for me too. I'm trying not to be mad at him anymore but it just felt so hurtful."

"I can't fall apart," Lilly said through her tears. "I need to be strong for him. And for Hanako."

"You're not doing this alone," Emi said. "That was the whole point of the meeting. We're in this together so you don't have to shoulder the entire burden."

"Thank you."

"They're coming," Rin suddenly said.

The three sets of footsteps came closer and eventually stopped. Lilly tried to discern who was standing where. Misha was easy to find at least.

"Hi," Hisao said sheepishly.

Now that she knew where he was, Lilly rushed forward and threw her arms around him. He returned the hug but lightly, as if he didn't feel he deserved it. Misha and Shizune said their goodbyes and walked off. Lilly gripped Hisao's arm as the group walked towards a picnic table, afraid that if she let go, she might lose him for good. As they all sat down, Emi pulled something out of her bag and handed it to him. "Enjoy your lunch!"

"A salad?"

"You better believe it," Emi replied. "I have a strict diet planned for you and as soon as the nurse gives the okay, we're going to be getting you back in shape."

Hisao sighed. "What's the point?"

"You need to stay alive," Rin said. "It's too sad otherwise."

"You might have given up on yourself but we're not giving up on you," Emi said, sounding very cross. "Now eat your salad."

He acquiesced and began eating as the others took out their lunches. Lilly was troubled by what she could sense about his movements. It was like he was putting the least amount of effort possible into his actions. It could have been that he was simply tired after his stay in the hospital, but she suspected that his mood was the bigger culprit. He may have survived the heart attack, but a lot of life seemed to have drained from him regardless.

"I spoke to Hanako last night," Lilly said a few minutes later.

"Oh," Hisao replied. "Lilly, I…I've been thinking about how hard things could get for you now that she hates me. You might find yourself in a position where you have to choose between us."

"That won't happen."

"It might," he continued. "I think you should stick with her. She needs you, and part of her knows that even if she doesn't like to admit it."

"I will not abandon either of you," Lilly said firmly. "We're going to resolve this if it's the last thing I do."

"You really think she hates you?" Emi asked. "I noticed how she used to look at you and I find that pretty hard to believe."

"That's what she said," Hisao replied. "I'll never forget the look on her face."

"She told me she's ready to talk to you again," Lilly said. "We could meet in my room if you want. We could even do it tonight."

He was taken aback by that. "She really said that? I…I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm ready for something like that."

"You have to face her eventually," Emi said. "After all, you're in the same friggin' class. Wouldn't you rather see her in a private place first?"

"I guess you have a point," Hisao said. "Not tonight, though. Maybe…tomorrow. We'll see how I feel."

After they finished their lunch (and Emi was satisfied that Hisao had eaten every last piece of lettuce in the salad), it was time to leave him behind for a while. He needed rest but they made him promise to meet up for dinner.

Lilly placed her hands on both of his cheeks. She couldn't really look directly at him but she hoped it was close enough. "Listen to me. I care about you and if anything happened to you, I would be devastated."

"That goes for me too," Emi added.

Rin did her best to contribute. "Don't kill yourself."

Hisao pulled away from the hug, letting out an exasperated sigh that signaled his discomfort. "I'm not! I don't…I don't have the energy for that right now. I'd rather just pass out."

He sulked off without another word.

"This is going to be really hard, isn't it?" Emi asked.

"I'm afraid so," Lilly said.

Later that afternoon, she suddenly began to feel unusually tired. She hadn't yet beaten the jet lag, but hopefully if she could push through until her normal bedtime, that would help. She was successful for the most part, but right around the time that the nighttime crickets started chattering, Lilly passed out on her bed without even changing into her pajamas.

Many hours later, she woke up and checked her watch, a special version with tactile hands and braille dots. She was relieved to find that it was still morning and not afternoon.

The first order of business for the day was to check on Hisao. She dialed his number and was relieved when he answered.

He had clearly anticipated this. "Hi, Lilly."

"Good morning, Hisao."

"What's so good about it?"

"How did you sleep?"

"I had some terrible dreams," he said, his voice perking up a little bit. "I was trying to walk across campus but there were snakes everywhere. I would try to step somewhere and one would always come forward and hiss at me. I've never been scared of them but I might start."

"My my," Lilly said. "That makes me relieved that I only dream in sounds."

"Oh yeah," he replied. "I hadn't thought about that."

"Do you have anything planned for today?"

"I still feel kinda weak from everything. I think I'll spend most of the day in here and read some books." He paused. "But…is Hanako still interested in meeting in your room?"

"As far as I know," Lilly answered.

"Okay. I guess we can try it tonight, but…I'm nervous."

"I will do my best to make sure it's a safe place for everyone. I don't think she will blow up at you again. She's had lots of time alone to cool off."

He said something back, but Lilly was distracted by a knock on her door. "Someone's here, Hisao. I need to go, but I'll be in touch about tonight."

He gave a quick goodbye and hung up. Lilly heard the knock again.

"Is that you, Akira?"

Her sister opened the door. "How did you know? I didn't tell you I was coming!"

"I know what your knock sounds like."

"Wow," Akira said. "Well, I won't take up too much of your time. I got a call from Father last night and he's being very pushy about our timeline for moving to Scotland. I tried to call you afterwards but I guess you were asleep."

"Oh goodness," Lilly said. "I've been so preoccupied that I haven't even thought about it since we got back."

"I would love to just forget about it," Akira sighed, taking a seat by Lilly's desk. "But we're going to have to come up with a plan soon."

Her sister didn't mean any harm, but that extra bit of pressure pushed Lilly too far. "No! I absolutely can not!"

Akira, who had been leaning back in the chair, suddenly jerked herself upright. "Whoa! Are you okay?"

"No!" Lilly exclaimed. "My two best friends here are both at their wit's end! Hisao has tried to kill himself once already!"

" _WHAT?!_ " Akira shouted. "What the fuck?!"

"He needs me. Hanako needs me. I can't go to Scotland!"

"You think you know somebody," Akira said, still amazed at the news. "Well screw it, I'm not going either. At least not yet."

Lilly was shocked. "But…but Father-"

"What's he going to do?" Akira asked. "Have us extradited? They waited years before they decided to have anything to do with us, so let him count the days for a change."

"Akira, are you sure?"

"You're looking after Hisao and Hanako. Who's looking after you?"

She was touched, but she couldn't let Akira re-arrange her whole life like this. Lilly didn't have any major plans in Scotland, but Akira was set for a promotion within the family business. "It's okay. I can manage."

"You probably could," Akira said. "But I don't want that. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

"Thanks," Lilly said softly.

Akira left shortly after that conversation and all Lilly could do for the rest of the day was try to prepare for the moment of truth that would come later. Hanako hadn't reneged on her idea despite her own anxiety. In fact, Lilly suspected that it was Hisao who was actually more nervous about this meeting.

Hanako arrived about an hour before Hisao was supposed to come, but she didn't want to brainstorm or anything like that. The two girls drank tea and made idle conversation until there was a knock at the door.

"Come in, Hisao."

He only opened the door slightly at first, probably just enough room for him to peek his head around as though he was a character in a horror novel afraid that a demon was waiting for him. He and Hanako had surely seen each other by now, for the first time since their fight.

Finally, the door finished opening and Hisao sat down on the floor across from them. Neither he nor Hanako said a word to each other.

"We're here to talk," Lilly said. "Nothing will get any better if we don't. Does anyone have any questions they want to start a discussion with?"

More silence. Was she going to have to write them a script? Finally Hanako said something.

"That…that note you left me," she stammered. "Did...did you…did you mean it?"

The question seemed to be just the inspiration Hisao needed. He stood up and took a deep breath. "Yes, I meant every word. I love you. But that love made me…"

He stopped. Perhaps he was about to say it made him blind?

"It made me oblivious. I've had plenty of time to think about this. I acted like you were so vulnerable but I wasn't willing to be vulnerable myself. I think about it now and I just want to throw myself out a window!"

Lilly couldn't believe this. He was putting everything out there in a way that would have been unimaginable for him just a few weeks ago.

"If you want me out of your life, I understand. But please…please don't hate me. I don't think I can bear it."

Hanako was silent and obviously stunned. At first, Lilly couldn't blame her. But as the moments passed by, she began to silently plead with Hanako to say something, anything.

"I'm sorry," Hisao said. "I can't…I just can't do this. I'm sorry." With that, he quickly opened the door and left the room.

"Hisao," Hanako said, far too late. "I…I don't hate you."

She hurriedly went back to her own room. Lilly fought a strong urge to try and stop her. Hanako would seek out help when she needed it. Hisao might not. She gave him enough time to get back to his room and then dialed his number.

There was no answer. She called again. No answer. The third time proved to be the charm.

"Lilly, please! I'm not worth this!"

"You need to talk to someone," Lilly said.

"What I need is to drop dead." He seemed to regret that comment in short order. "Ah shit."

"I'm coming over right now."

"No! There's no need for that. I'm just upset."

"I am not leaving you alone. I'm coming over there and if you don't open the door, I'll keep banging on it until everyone on your floor comes out."

Lilly hung up without giving him a chance to protest. She put on a pair of slippers and rushed out the door. As the chill night air nipped at her arms and legs, she realized it might have been worth the time to put some warmer clothes.

Was she overreacting? Perhaps. Then again, perhaps not. At a time like this, the risk of doing nothing was simply too great. Things hadn't gone as she hoped, but there was something about Hisao's behavior that intrigued her.

The threat of annoying his neighbors must have worked as he opened the door for her after her first knock. He walked over and sat on something soft, presumably his bed.

"I really blew it," he said. "I just…I saw her sitting there not saying anything and…I panicked. I hate when I don't know how she feels. I just have to sit there and wonder if I've stepped on another land mine or not. It was…too scary."

"Perhaps I pushed this along too soon," Lilly said.

"No," Hisao said. "No, you're…you've been so kind. Sometimes I feel like…like you're the only one that cares. Like really cares."

Hopefully that would change once Shizune's plan was fully implemented, but it was still a sweet thing for him to say. She heard a sniffle and realized that he was crying. Lilly sat down on the bed next to him and pulled him close.

"Lilly, you don't have to-"

"Shh," she whispered. "You have to. You have to get this out."

"I'm so pathetic."

"You're not," she said. "You have to let yourself cry."

He finally broke down and wept on her shoulder. She held him for what seemed like hours, but that didn't matter. Nothing else the group was planning would work if someone wasn't there for him at moments like these.

"Hisao," Lilly said. "I need you to listen. I realized tonight that all that has happened has opened you up emotionally in a way I've never heard before. I know it hurts now, but it's a good thing. It will help you, even if you and Hanako don't work out."

"Okay," he said. It was barely audible, even for someone with her hearing. He was already tired and now the emotional strain had left him exhausted. He laid back on the bed and exhaled. He would probably be asleep in minutes.

She wondered if she should leave. It was well past curfew now, so maybe it made more sense to stay. She laid down next to him and took his hand in hers.

"Lilly?"

"Let's get some rest," she said.

As they both began to fall asleep, Lilly began to wonder - was it supposed to be her instead of Hanako? She had enjoyed Hisao's company from the beginning, but when she noticed what was starting to happen between those two, it seemed too precious for her to do anything but try and nurture it.

Little good would come of those thoughts now. Whether or not he and Hanako were able to mend their relationship, Lilly moving in on him would surely be seen as an unforgivable betrayal. She hadn't shown it, but Hisao's comment the previous day about the possibility of having to choose between them was still heart-wrenching to think about. She promised herself that scenario would never come to pass. She would be there for both of them…whatever it took.


	4. Chapter 4: The Conspiracy

Most people would be in a good mood if a beautiful girl had spent the night in their room several times in the last week. For Hisao, it was more complicated. Despite her insistence to the contrary, he still believed that Lilly would ultimately dismiss him as weak after the major crying fit he had the first night she stayed over. On the other hand, the fear of emasculation sure hadn't stopped him from crying on the subsequent nights either.

Hisao's relationship with Lilly was changing, but not into romance. That was just as well - as attractive as she was, something like that was likely way beyond what he could handle in his fragile state. It was more like being under house arrest every night. Her fears were becoming more unfounded with each passing day. He still felt awful, but his mind didn't drift to thoughts of killing himself as often. It just seemed like too much work. Progress?

He returned from a shower to find that Lilly had left him a message. It turned out Rin was planning on doing something with him today. That was odd. Since when did those two share their plans with one another? In fact, all of his friends seemed to be up to something.

Kenji was in the hallway once he was finally ready to head to class. Hisao knew it had been too quiet around here lately.

"Glad you're all right," Kenji said. "Have you recovered from the assassination attempt?"

"Huh? I had a heart attack."

"Don't tell me you haven't put it together," Kenji said with dismay. "Come on, you said it yourself the last time I saw you. You got too close. There are chemicals out there that can induce heart attacks. One of the feminist agents must have slipped it in your food, just waiting for some physical exercise to activate the compound."

Wow. This was out there even for him.

Kenji continued. "You've got to be careful, bro. That blind chick's been hanging around here a lot lately. They're planning to finish the job."

"She's just helping me out with a few things," Hisao said. It sounded vague but it was better than admitting she held him when he needed to cry.

"Keep your wits about you. They use sex to get your guard down and before you know it, you're being smothered with a pillow."

Hisao held up his hand. "Stop right there. That is not what's going on."

"Good," Kenji replied. "Keep your urges in check and you should be fine. I'm impressed you're already back undercover after all this. Your dedication to the cause is inspiring."

"I do what I can."

During class, Hisao frequently glanced over at Hanako's empty desk. Hopefully she had been attending class during his time in the hospital because he hadn't seen her at her desk for almost a week. Mutou had once told him that she got some leeway on attendance because of her severe social anxiety, but she couldn't stay away forever, could she?

Once again, he had been tasked with bringing worksheets and other homework assignments to her. Hisao opted to just leave it at her door without knocking or saying anything. Even though remembering that day she screamed at him could still bring on a wave of sorrow and pain, Hisao found that he had gained a bit of closure from their meeting in Lilly's room despite how badly it ended. At least he had been able to apologize and get his true feelings out in the open. He still loved Hanako and would go to her immediately if she wished, but he felt comfortable giving her time to make sense of her own feelings.

Hisao only took a few steps away from the girls' dormitories before Emi rushed up to him with Rin aimlessly walking behind. Emi handed Hisao a bag and Rin began to walk off without saying a word. Good thing he already knew he was supposed to go with her.

Emi waved. "Have fun, you two!"

Rin led him to the edge of campus where there was an old iron gate he had never seen before. Behind it was a trail that led through a shadowy forest. They weren't walking especially fast, but even their mild pace was starting to affect Hisao.

"Rin, can we maybe go slower?"

She didn't respond. Maybe she didn't hear him? Or maybe Kenji was right all along and she was the assassin? His heart was teetering on the edge of the danger zone before he took a break and sat on a rock. Rin kept walking but there was a small path so he figured he would find her eventually.

Once he caught up, he found her sitting against a very large maple tree.

"What is this place?" he asked.

"The worry tree," Rin answered. "I like it here. Do you?"

"Seems nice."

"Can you get the stuff out of the bag?"

He did as he was told as they both sat down against the roots of the worry tree. Inside the bag were numerous sheets of paper, two clipboards and about half a dozen pencils. When he picked out a pencil in his hand and attached a piece of paper to the clipboard, Hisao turned to Rin. "So what should I do?"

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"Well, a little tired but-"

"How do you feel?" she asked again, this time gesturing with her foot towards the clipboard.

"Oh." Hisao stared blankly at the paper for a few moments before deciding he might as well give it a shot. He started with a simple heart shape and once that was done, he got the idea to add a few bandages onto it. As a final touch, he drew a knife stabbing it right in the center.

He passed it to Rin. "This is more or less how I've been feeling."

Rin cocked her head to the side and stared at it for a moment. "I like it, but hearts don't actually look like this. Please put the clipboard on the ground in front of me."

Hisao did as he was told. Rin picked up a pencil between her toes and sketched a highly realistic looking heart complete with veins and the aorta.

"You drew that from memory?" he asked.

"No, it came from the pencil."

He noticed that Rin had left a white line blank. It began in the center of the heart and stretched diagonally to the upper right edge.

"How come you left that part blank?"

"I'm not done yet," Rin said. "You still have to get stabbed in the heart."

Hisao couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh, of course. We can't forget that."

Rin drew a dagger with an ornate-looking handle that was now piercing the heart. He was blown away that she could make something so impressive with just her foot.

"Your turn," she said.

This time, Hisao tried to make a realistic looking heart like she had. Even though he was looking right at her drawing for a reference, it still didn't look as vivid. This time, the instrument attacking the heart was a big meat cleaver. It sunk into the center and some blood dripped from underneath it. It was a little crude, but he also felt like it captured his feelings a little better.

"You'll probably notice a theme to my work," he joked as he showed her the drawing.

"Yeah," Rin replied. "This is what you did to yourself."

Hisao gasped. That wasn't at all what he had been thinking, but maybe she was right. Hanako might have broken his heart figuratively, but he had just about done it literally.

"If you get sick of using the pencil, you can try a different style at the art club. It's after school."

"I'm tempted," Hisao replied. "But starting next week, my afternoons belong to Shizune and Misha."

"Half the afternoons," Rin said.

"Excuse me?"

"They talked to me about this," she continued. "You spend one afternoon with them and the next one with me. I might get it confused after a while but you probably won't."

He found this increasingly strange. Were all of his friends really coordinating? For him? There was a conspiracy afoot all right, but not the one Kenji imagined.

For the next few days, Hisao's schedule played out exactly how Rin said it would. One day he would he in the student council room helping out with preliminary work for the Tanabata festival and the next he would be in the art room with Rin and some other creatively-minded students. So far he was experimenting with different types of paint trying to narrow down what he liked best.

After about a week of this, Hisao went to check in with the nurse. He had been dreading this for a while and sure enough, the nurse (what was his name, anyway?) berated Hisao for a good fifteen minutes about how careless he had been for running on the track as fast as he had that day. Hisao considered blurting out that it was all done on purpose. Of course, that would have gotten him in deeper trouble but at least the nurse would know he wasn't a moron. Finally, it was time to actually discuss his current health.

"You've made a pretty strong recovery," he said. "I think that we can start you on some very mild exercise."

On cue, Emi stepped into the room. "That's what I was waiting for!"

Hisao sighed. "Do I have to?"

"I can't make you," the nurse replied with a mischievous smile. "That's her job."

"I'm even willing to do it for free," Emi said. "Now come on. We still have some time before classes start."

Hisao knew it was futile to resist. Like a prisoner being led back to his cell, he followed Emi out of the room. He realized that this was the first time had had been to the track since he nearly ran himself to death. Had it been difficult for Emi to come back here after finding him? Hopefully not, he wouldn't want to ruin this for her.

"We're going to start real slow," she instructed. "Just a light jog. I can trust you not to try and give yourself another attack, right?"

"Like I would do it in front of you," Hisao retorted.

"Well, you almost did," Emi shot back. "I saw you fall. I thought you were dead. I was…I was crying. And I hate crying."

"Don't worry, I'll just jog." He expected Emi to join him as he began, but she became distracted by some unexpected company. Shizune and Misha had appeared at the top of the small hill that overlooked the track.

"Keep going," Emi said. "I'll be right back."

She walked towards them as Hisao slowly made his way around the track. He hadn't shown it, but Emi's comment about crying had really gotten to him. He had never seen her show vulnerability and he found himself surprised that the thought of his death was enough to upset her so much. But wasn't it obvious? At the time of his attempted suicide, he had honestly believed that nobody would cry about it (except maybe his parents). That seemed so ridiculous now. How could he have been so far gone to think that his life didn't matter to anyone?

After two laps, Emi's conversation with the other girls was done and she walked back to the track. It only took her seconds to catch up with Hisao.

"I used to think she was a total bitch," Emi admitted. "But I've seen a different side of her during this whole thing. She's very protective of you. It's sweet."

"I don't know why you guys are doing all this for a waste of oxygen like me," Hisao said. As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he was surprised at himself. It was like the self-loathing was on autopilot.

Emi stopped walking and glared at him. "Okay, I need you to take it down a notch."

"Huh?"

"Let me ask you something. Did you cheat on Hanako? Or hit her?"

"Of course not!" Hisao shouted.

"Then why are you acting like it?" Emi asked. "This is just out of whack. I know it was a bad breakup and that you made mistakes, but she didn't have to scream at you. She didn't have to tell you that she hated you. I don't care how angry she was, that's not what you do to someone you care about."

Hisao was taken aback. Nobody had described the situation like this before. "But…she was just so frustrated. Because I had no clue how she felt about the way I was treating her. It was my fault."

"Listen up," Emi said. "If you're not willing to let her share some of the blame, then you haven't learned anything. She needs to take some responsibility for this."

"You're…you're right."

Emi grinned widely and put both hands on her hips. "Of course I am!"

Hisao let it sink in for a few minutes as they continued around the track. He had been so stunned and so wracked with guilt that he hadn't even considered the possibility that Hanako had been too hard on him. Did he really deserve to be treated that way?

Maybe not, but calling out Hanako in that moment probably would have made things much worse. She would have either gotten even angrier or resolved never to speak to him again, possibly both.

"What else is on your mind?" Emi asked after about half a lap.

"Do you think it's worth it, Emi?"

"Is what worth it?"

"To get this close to someone? It feels nice sometimes but it also gives them the power to really hurt you. Maybe I would be better off without a girlfriend."

She looked conflicted. "You might be asking the wrong girl, Hisao. I think about that kind of stuff too. I don't know the answer, but the other girls and I just want you to be happy."

He smiled at her. "I suppose to do my part, I have to figure out what that looks like."

Over the next few days, he realized that the girls had worked out his schedule so that he would see most of them every day. He would exercise with Emi in the morning and Shizune and Misha were always around in class. Depending on the day, he would either join them in the student council room or head to the art room with Rin. After that, Lilly was almost always with him at night, on the phone or in person.

Surprisingly, it was the art activities that occupied his mind the most during his moments of alone time. After messing around with several types of paint, he decided he liked acrylic paints most and began brainstorming what sort of picture he wanted to try and create.

Inspiration came from a comment he had made to Kenji the day before his heart attack. Before he started painting, he opted to draw it on paper first. His heart (the detailed version) sat on an iron griddle as a teppanyaki chef posed above it with a knife and a barbecue fork. He was amused by the idea of putting Hanako herself in the traditional chef's hat and apron, but couldn't quite bring himself to make it that personal. Besides, there was no way in hell that Hanako would ever get this close to such a hot surface.

One afternoon, Shizune and Misha stopped by the art room. Many of the other students were startled to see their class president drop by, although Rin was so immersed in her own painting that she didn't even notice. The painting was only about half-done at this point so it must have looked like a total mess. He wanted to at least make a couple adjustments before they saw it.

His efforts were stymied when a pair of hands suddenly covered his eyes.

"Guess who?"

Hisao couldn't believe she was still doing this. "Misha?"

"Good guess, Hicchan!" Misha said, releasing him. "We wanted to see how you've been doing here!"

Shizune studied the painting intently but didn't sign anything.

"This looks pretty abstract," Misha said.

Hisao chuckled. "Not abstract, just unfinished." He reached for his original pencil drawing that he was still using as a guide. "This is what it will eventually look like."

"That's gruesome!" Misha exclaimed. "Why are they serving heart for dinner?"

Shizune at least seemed to understand the metaphor and gave the drawing a satisfied smile.

"[Have you been enjoying this?]"

"Yeah," Hisao answered. "Quite a bit."

"[Good. I understand that the nurse has declared you fit for physical activity again. The timing is fortunate as we have some more intensive work to do for the festival.]"

"Go easy on me."

Shizune shot him a disapproving look. "[We have no desire to see you back in the hospital. I will allow you to set your own pace.]"

How generous of her, Hisao thought. They left him to his painting but there were only a few more minutes until the art club adjourned for the day.

Before heading back to his room, Hisao made his way to the library. After a quick chat with Yuuko, he wandered to a section he had never browsed before. A few minutes later, he found what he was looking for - a book about acrylic painting. Actually reading about the technique would probably be dull, but this book had several examples of the style that he was interested to examine.

On his way out, he saw her. Hanako was sitting on that same beanbag she always used with her nose in a book. He gasped and ducked behind a bookcase. Part of him knew this was ridiculous. If she saw him, she would probably just rush off like she had when they first met. But just seeing her still brought back heavy feelings of guilt and shame.

Thanks to his friends, he had come far. But as he left the library, Hisao knew he still had far to go.


	5. Chapter 5: Taken for Granted

As she reached the top of the small hill overlooking the track, Misha caught sight of Emi and Hicchan at the starting lines. Shicchan was only a few steps behind.

The conversation between them couldn't be heard but Hicchan's body language suggested it was a little testy. Just as he started to jog, Emi noticed the two girls and made her way up the hill.

"Good morning," she said cheerfully. Misha translated it for Shicchan without even thinking. Her duties as Shicchan's interpreter had taken up so much of her time for so long that she was sometimes barely aware she was doing it.

As usual, Shicchan didn't have any use for pleasantries. "[The nurse believes he is fit for this?]"

"Of course," Emi answered. "I've been super eager to get him started, but I had to wait until I got the okay."

"[What are your plans for the days ahead?]"

"We'll stay at this pace for a while," she said while glancing back at Hicchan. "Honestly, I think it will be a long time before he's ready for any real running. The important thing is to establish the habit. Get him used to coming out here in the mornings."

"[I will leave you to it, then.]"

"One more thing," Emi said. Shicchan lightly touched her glasses with two fingers and looked at her expectantly.

"I'm worried about Hanako. We've made some progress with Hisao, but I've barely seen her since this started. I think we should have another meeting."

Shicchan's signs became more forceful. "[I have already made it clear that she is outside the purview of this effort.]"

"Purview?" Emi asked quietly. She must not have known the word. Misha probably wouldn't either if Shicchan hadn't used it several times in the past.

"[If you want to check on Ikezawa, do so. I'm sure Satou will be happy to assist you. Leave the rest of us out of it.]"

Misha expected Emi to be angry, but instead the pig-tailed girl wore a knowing smile.

"Have it your way," she said. "I'll talk to you later. Bye, Misha!"

"Bye," Misha replied.

Emi jogged down the hill and caught up with Hicchan almost instantly. Misha turned around to see Shicchan glaring impatiently. They had plenty of time before class, but Shicchan always liked to get a few minor things done in the student council room before it began.

Misha began signing. "[She has a point.]"

"[And what's that?]"

"[This started with Hicchan, but we've left Hanako out of the whole thing. She's our classmate and we never even got the whole story.]"

Shicchan gave an incredulous look. It wasn't often that Misha challenged her, even in private. "[My answer to you is the same as my answer to her.]"

"[Will you at least tell me why?"]

"[I have no doubt that Hisao made some errors in judgment, but the way she condemned him is shameful. She is emotionally fragile, so she should know better than anyone what behavior like that can do to another person.]"

Misha didn't have an answer for that. As they walked back towards the building where classes were held, she reflected on the whirlwind of the past week or so. On one early morning, right around this time actually, word spread like crazy throughout Yamaku that an ambulance was on campus. Naturally, the class president was determined to find out what happened. Misha would never forget the horrified look on Shicchan's face when they finally got the name of the student who was taken to the hospital. She had never seen Shicchan look so upset.

The next three days were an agonizing waiting game as they tried to get through their daily activities without knowing if Hicchan would survive the heart attack. There were several moments where Misha caught a glimpse of Shicchan's face when her guard was down and saw frantic worry in her features. She wanted so badly to hold her at those moments, but it wouldn't bring the same comfort for Shicchan as it would be for Misha. Besides, she was also emotional and another rejection from Shicchan on top of the other stress could be dangerous. She had barely survived the first one.

Hearing that Hicchan was alive and stabilized should have been purely good news, but then the two of them went to the hospital and found him completely despondent. It was like the simple state of being alive was too much for him. Misha and Shicchan pieced together quickly that the breakup with Hanako had done much more damage than the heart attack. It was an uncomfortable moment for Misha but downright soul-shaking for Shicchan.

Once the initial shock wore off, something more familiar was left - her determination. Shicchan wouldn't stop until this was fixed, but this time, her opponent was not Lilly or another student. It was depression.

Poor Lilly, who loved Hicchan to pieces. Who flew halfway around the world from Scotland without any clue of the terrible news waiting for her. At the first meeting of Operation: Restore Hisao's Spirit, she looked like death warmed over. Misha found herself overcome with nostalgia for their earlier days at Yamaku. When Lilly was always spending time with them…and Misha hadn't yet made her ill-fated confession to Shicchan.

She spent much of that day's class deep in thought, not aware that her fellow students and her teacher were unsure of how to react to the sudden quiet. Mutou cast her a concerned look as they left and she gave him a reassuring grin. Misha would be back to her noisy self any day now…right?

The familiar routine of working in the student council room with Shicchan was going to be different today. It was the first day of Hicchan's "internship" with the council.

"[He should be here shortly.]" Shicchan signed. "[I'm going to give him something simple to start with, just some sorting and filing. I'll keep in touch with Ibarazaki about his health and then hopefully he can help us put together the stalls for Tanabata. Remember that even though he has made some physical recovery, his emotions may still be unstable. We must be gentle.]"

Misha burst out laughing. "Wahaha! [I'm not the one who needs that reminder, Shicchan!]"

["I'm glad you find it so amusing."]

"[It is! Also, isn't that the advice Lilly gave you at the meeting?]"

Shicchan turned up her nose. "[It's simply common sense. I didn't need anyone to say it out loud.]"

Misha glanced at the door and saw Hicchan standing there. She let out a surprised yelp and tapped Shicchan on the shoulder.

"Hicchan! How long have you been standing there?"

"A minute or two," he answered. "Don't worry, I didn't…uh…hear anything."

Misha was very grateful he didn't know sign language. Hicchan continued talking. "Tell me the truth, okay? Do you really think this will do me any good or do you just need help? Either way, it's fine. You two have been good to me so I'll help."

Shicchan looked at him intently for a few moments. She must have anticipated this question but she was taking the time to make sure her response was just the way she wanted it.

"[When you first came here, you were a blank slate to us. We hoped that we could steer you in the direction of service to Yamaku. You weren't interested and we accepted that. But the more time passed, the more you cut yourself off from the school community. Not long ago, it seemed like you only spent time with Ikezawa and Satou. Then one of them left the country and the other rejected you. Because you had been so isolated, you felt you had no one. I intend to correct that mistake. This will give you a chance to connect with your classmates and to contribute to your surroundings. The feeling of accomplishment will be good for you.]"

Hicchan looked like he was about to cry but held it in. "I knew it. All the stuff everyone has been helping me with…it was your plan all along. You coordinated this with basically everyone I consider a friend…even Lilly."

Shicchan had no response.

"But…why would you work so hard just for my sake?"

"[It was my duty.]"

That seemed to be good enough for everyone and the three of them began their work. He came every other day for the next week, alternating between spending his afternoons in the council room and hanging out with wacky Rin Tezuka working on art or something. Misha wasn't sure of the details.

As the new week began, something was different in their classroom. Hanako was back. Misha didn't even want to think about how much work she had to catch up on after her prolonged absence, but that probably wasn't what was on her mind. Not with Hicchan sitting a few feet away.

Normally she welcomed distractions during boring classroom lectures, but watching the two exes was just agonizing. Hicchan would glance over in her direction and then immediately avert his eyes as if he would be turned to stone if Hanako caught his gaze. As for her, she was being much more cautious but still taking quick glances at Hicchan. At one point, she realized Hisao was staring out the window and a heartbreaking look appeared on her face. She never looked all that happy, but this was just agonizing to see. Out of the corner of her eye, Misha realized that Shicchan had seen it too.

When class ended, Hicchan rushed out while Hanako followed her usual routine of waiting for Lilly. Shicchan motioned to Naomi Inoue and Natsume Ooe. They followed her into the hallway.

"What's up?" Naomi asked cheerfully.

"[You need additional staffing for the student newspaper, correct?]'

"We sure do," Natsume said. "Are you two going to join us?"

"[No, but I think you should ask Ikezawa.]"

"Really?" Natsume asked. "Is she interested in the club?"

"[I don't know, but I think she would benefit from becoming more involved.]"

"Yeah me too!" Naomi said. "She looked like she was about to cry all day today. We'll talk to her about it tomorrow!"

Shicchan nodded and the two girls went about their business. Misha flashed a big silly grin, prompting Shicchan to raise her eyebrows.

"[You've got a heart of gold, Shicchan!]"

Her friend rolled her eyes, clearly unwilling to give anyone the satisfaction of admitting to changing her mind. Misha couldn't resist poking her again as they walked down the hallway.

"[Wait until Lilly hears about this! She will be so happy with you!]"

Shicchan whirled around. "[Satou will not know about my role in this. Understood?"]

"Wahaha! [Whatever you say, Shicchan!]"

The days continued to pass and as Tanabata grew closer, Misha noticed that Hisao seemed to be feeling a little better. He was even helping them construct some of the stalls for the festival, albeit at a slower pace than the two of them. Actually, given how many breaks Misha was taking, he might have been in second place.

"[I made some lunch for all of us today,]" Shicchan said, pulling three plastic containers out of her bag. "[I had Ibarazaki approve yours, of course."]

Hicchan realized the difference right way. The girls had fried beef and fried vegetables which he was stuck with just vegetables. He let out a little sigh but dutifully ate his meal. The healthy food was probably the reason he was in good enough condition to help them.

The three of them pounded nails into the disheveled stalls, most of which were partially preserved from previous years. Hicchan took a little longer since he had to be careful about how much exertion he put into each strike of the hammer. A small squirrel scurried down a tree and into a nearby bush, making just enough noise for everyone to briefly turn their heads. Unfortunately, Hicchan was in the middle of swinging the hammer when it happened.

Misha's heart practically jumped into her throat when she heard him cry out. Shicchan may not have heard the shout, but she could tell immediately what had happened. They were both terrified that an incident like that might get Hicchan worked up enough to cause trouble with his own heart. He looked at the intense worry on both of their faces before flashing a mischievous smile.

"I should have kept my eye on the hammer," he said. "That's a rule of…thumb?"

"Wahaha!" Misha wondered if the pun would get lost in translation but Shicchan got it.

""[That is unforgivable.]"

"You mean cruel and unusual PUNishment?"

Shicchan could only take so much silliness and that was over the line. She rushed Hicchan and grabbed his neck with both hands. For an instant, Misha was afraid she might strangle him but she had something more appropriate in mind. She lowered his head and wrapped one arm around it, using the other to grind against the top of his scalp. There was an American word Misha had heard that described this sort of thing - "noogie."

Hicchan eventually broke free and retaliated with his own noogie. Afterwards, he was laughing loudly and Shicchan seemed to be laughing too. Her laugh was typically silent but every so often, something amused her so much that a little sound came out. Still in the midst of their giggle fit, the two of them shared a spontaneous and yet completely mutual hug.

It was one of the sweetest things Misha had ever seen, but it still hurt. She realized just how much Shicchan cared for him. Physical affection was not something she indulged in very often. They had been friends for years but Misha could count the number of hugs she had received from Shicchan on one hand.

She thought about it more and realized that it wasn't that Shicchan liked Hicchan more than her. It was that Shicchan knew she had taken him for granted. She always thought Hicchan would be there only to come to school one day and learn that he was close to death. Misha understood those feelings and shared them to an extent. However, it was clear that Shicchan still took her for granted and why wouldn't she? Even after having her love rejected, Misha had always been there. It weighed heavily over her for the next few days but she still put on the same happy face she always did.

Shicchan called another meeting of Operation: Restore Hisao's Spirit the next week. The morning began with Misha practicing her best plastered smile in front of the mirror. It was getting harder to deal with Shicchan's fixation on Hicchan's well being. She wasn't angry with Hicchan - after all, it was obvious he still wanted to be with Hanako despite everything that happened - but Shicchan's typical lack of awareness about Misha's feelings was starting to breed resentment.

As they waited in the council room, Shicchan looked over the notes she had taken after the first meeting and reproduced the list of students and responsibilities they had made. Emi, Rin and Lilly finally arrived and took their seats. Well, Emi and Lilly sat down and Rin sat on top of a desk.

Shicchan wasted no time. "[I've called you all back here for an update on your respective activities. To start, Misha and I have been working with Hisao on our preparations for Tanabata. He has been friendly and diligent throughout much of the progress, even going beyond our expectations in terms of how much physical exertion he could tolerate. I have definitely seen a positive change.]"

Next on the list was Emi, who cheerfully took credit for Hicchan's improved condition. "The diet and exercise have been doing their job. He still shouldn't be running, but I've worked him up to a nice lively jog. We've had some good conversations too."

"[Good. And you, Tezuka?]"

Not wanting a repeat of last time, Emi gave Rin's shoulder a gentle shake to get her attention before pointing at the board. Rin nodded in recognition.

"I've seen Hisao do a lot of painting in the art club," she said. "He likes acrylics and he definitely has a lot to say about what happened to him. I see his painting and I feel like I understand him more than ever."

Shicchan gave her an approving smile while Emi practically beamed with pride. In the end, she was right to include Rin in this undertaking.

"That leaves you, Lilly," Misha said.

"Thank you," Lilly answered, standing up in her seat. "I'm so glad to hear all of your optimism. Hisao has had…some very difficult moments but he has confronted his feelings in the way that I hoped he would. The situation with Hanako is still very uncertain and could be for some time, but he has regained some of his self-worth. He also seems to have stopped bottling up his emotions, perhaps more out of necessity than anything else. Something had to give, and it has. I think…he will make it."

There was a silence in the room as everyone took a moment to think about all they had done. Rin might have been thinking about something altogether different, but her behavior still fit the mood.

"[You have all done well,]" Shicchan said. "[I intended to show Hisao the value of community here at Yamaku, but it's clear you all have done that too.]"

She took a deep breath as she prepared to do something uncomfortable. "[Thank you.]"

"Thank _you_ ," Emi said back.

"[I'm not quite sure how to determine when our work is concluded. Tanabata may be a good test since we will all have a chance to see Hisao. Perhaps we can even walk the grounds together."]

As the meeting adjourned, Misha studied Shiccan's face. Although it was not strictly a student council activity, Shicchan had gotten a taste of what her job as class president would have been like with a larger group. She had obviously liked it and would be sad to see everyone go back to their normal routines.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Lilly's walking stick lightly striking the floor behind her.

"Hi, Lilly."

"Hello, Misha. I wanted to ask you about something."

"What's that?"

"Well," Lilly said. "Hanako mentioned to me that two students from the Newspaper Club approached her in the classroom and invited her to join. She ultimately decided to accept the offer even though it seemed to come out of nowhere. Did you and Shizune have anything to do with that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Misha said. It was in a special tone of voice that Lilly picked up on immediately.

"My, my. Well, I won't say anything to Shizune. I know she would hate to give me the satisfaction."

"And even if you do, I won't sign it! Wahaha!" They both laughed.

"I've missed spending time with you, Misha."

She was taken aback. "I've…I've missed hanging out with you too."

That moment lingered in her mind for a long time afterwards. There were days where being around Shicchan was too hard and Misha needed a break and some time to think. The day after the meeting was one of them. With Tanabata coming up within days, Shicchan was exceptionally busy and Misha took advantage of it to rest during the late afternoon on the roof.

The quiet was lost when Hicchan rushed through the door. He noticed her and immediately looked embarrassed.

"What's wrong?" Misha asked.

"Oh, nothing…I…" he trailed off before seemingly changing his mind. "Ah, screw it. I saw Hanako in the library and almost had a panic attack."

"Did she see you?"

"No, thankfully." Hicchan sat down next to her. "I've been doing a little better with her in the classroom but I guess running into her unexpectedly was too much. Plus

I had that goddamn snake dream again."

"What are you talking about, Hicchan?"

"It's this dream I keep having. I'm walking across Yamaku and there's snakes everywhere. I can't even put my foot down without one of them hissing at me."

Misha was a little perplexed. "I don't think I've seen a snake the entire time I've been here."

"I didn't get it either at first, but now I think it's some kind of metaphor my brain come up with to deal with my feelings. It's how I feel about Hanako, that I don't know how to deal with her in a way that's safe."

"Do you think she's still angry?"

"Probably not…but that's not the only reason I'm nervous. Because of how I feel about her, she can really hurt me if she wants to. Again, I mean. But I have to see her every day and I'm just…scared because I don't know what's going to happen."

Misha wasn't prepared for how much those comments would hit home. Maybe it was time for her to tell someone what she had been going through. She could trust Hicchan.

"I know exactly how you feel."

"You do? But I only ever really see you with-" Misha could pick out the exact moment when he figured it out. "Oh…I had no idea. Does Shizune know?"

"She knows. I told her once but…she didn't want me."

"Hmmph," Hicchan grunted. "All this time I thought she was smart."

"Wahaha! That's sweet of you to say, Hicchan. But it's not her fault. She just doesn't see other girls in that way."

"I'm surprised you're still such good friends."

"Me too," Misha said with a slight chuckle. "I thought I had ruined everything but Shicchan still wanted to spend so much time with me. She said we were friends. I still don't know if that's a good or a bad thing…because it hurts, but it might hurt worse without her."

"Have you tried taking a break from her?" Hicchan asked. "Maybe see if you could meet some other girls?"

"I don't know if I can," Misha said. "Shicchan still means the world to me. I think you can understand that, right?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. "So…what do we do?"

Misha was quiet for a moment, but she felt better than she had a few minutes earlier. Confiding in Hicchan took a little weight off her shoulders.

"You know…I think everything we've been doing to help you is helping me, Hicchan. I've gotten to reconnect a little bit with Lilly and get to know Emi and Rin a little better. It makes me feel like…I don't have to depend on Shicchan for my life to mean something. I can have other people in my life."

"That's good."

"I want you to feel that too, Hicchan. That's part of what this is about. You and Hanako might never be on good terms again but it doesn't mean you'll be alone."

She saw that there were tears in his eyes. "Aww, don't cry Hicchan."

"Sorry," he said, wiping his eyes. "I just feel sad that you all have been so focused on me but you've been carrying this around for so long. I've been so selfish."

"It's not selfish to be sad, Hicchan."

"But it is selfish to get all wrapped up in my own feelings and not pay attention to what my friends are going through."

"I didn't tell you this to make you feel ashamed," Misha said, inching closer to him. "It's been years since Shicchan rejected me. If I had your heart problems, I might have done what you did. I just needed time and even though it can still be hard sometimes, I survive. But you…it's only been a few weeks."

"Okay," he said. "But when my turn's over, it can be your turn…and I'll try and be there for you the way you've been there for me."

Now she felt like she might cry. "Is it okay if I hug you, Hicchan?"

"That sounds nice."

She pulled him close and they embraced for quite a long time. She hadn't realized how much she needed such a simple gesture. As much as she loved Shicchan, affection wasn't something Misha could depend on her for. Maybe Hicchan was right, maybe it was time to think about changing her life. When they pulled apart, Hicchan looked much better than he had when he had rushed up here.

"You know, maybe the right thing to do is just…nothing." He paused for a moment before continuing. "I keep wondering what I should do about Hanako and maybe the answer is nothing at all. She knows how I feel…so maybe it's best to just leave things in her hands."

"I think that's a good idea," Misha said. "It will help you concentrate more on your council work." They both laughed.

"Misha, can you help me with something?"

"What?"

"Can you….teach me a little bit of sign language?" Hicchan looked a little nervous, as if this was crossing some boundary. "I just want to say something to Shizune, directly to her. It would be short, don't worry."

"I guess so," Misha said. "What were you thinking of?"

 **Author's Note: I'm sorry for the absurdly long wait for this chapter. It's been busy, but the next one will bring this story to an end and hopefully arrive soon!**


	6. Chapter 6: Tears

Looking back on everything that had happened, Hanako realized the trouble started when Lilly left for Scotland.

Not her departure itself, although she knew that would be a difficult adjustment, but how Lilly had been acting for the days leading up to it. Don't forget to go outside and get some fresh air, Hanako. Don't miss too much class, Hanako. Be sure to eat enough, Hanako. It was so irritating that she had even considered giving her best friend the middle finger - after all, Lilly wouldn't have been able to see it.

Then the day of her flight finally came and despite how annoying she could be, Hanako felt like a part of her had gone with Lilly on the plane. When she and Hisao finally got back to Yamako, all she wanted was a distraction. A night in the city like the ones they had enjoyed with the Satou sisters. But Hisao wouldn't have it. He insisted that the two of them go straight back to their rooms, as if Hanako were too fragile to be exposed to the outside world. She wished she had said something to him then, but openly disagreeing with someone was something that still made her terribly nervous.

However, avoiding the topic didn't make it go away. She kept getting angrier until that day when Hisao came to visit and was determined to go for a walk in the gardens or something mundane like that. Now he was ready to go out, so now of course she had to go out. Because he always knew what was best for her apparently. Hanako must have indicated her lack of interest nearly a dozen times but he just wouldn't take the hint. It could still make her angry just thinking about it, but it wasn't so simple anymore.

Hisao had definitely gotten the point, but Hanako wasn't prepared for the look on his face after her outburst. It occurred to her that she had truly hurt him and as he meekly left and closed the door, she became ambivalent about what had just happened. On one hand, he deserved a scolding after the way he had been acting. On the other hand, she had said a few things she didn't intend on saying in the heat of the moment.

Either way, she didn't plan on going back to class for the near future. It was hard enough with Lilly gone but after how traumatic that confrontation was, just the thought of going to class and seeing Hisao sitting there made her feel like a panic attack was imminent.

The next day was slow and miserable but ended on a strange note. Hisao had left the homework she had missed outside her door and spoke to her only briefly. He mentioned not going to class the next day, which seemed strange. Why go today but not tomorrow? Still, it did make her consider going as not to fall too far behind. After about ten minutes, when she was sure Hisao was gone, she opened the door and picked up the pile of papers he had left. A piece of paper from a small notebook with a few wet spots was resting on top. It was Hisao's handwriting.

 _I'm so sorry, Hanako. You're not broken and I hate myself for making you feel that way. You may hate me, but I love you. Goodbye._

Immediately after reading that, Hanako began to sob uncontrollably. How long had she dreamed of hearing someone say that to her? Even though she had believed for so many years that nobody would ever be attracted to her because of her scarring, she had still spent many nights in bed, in those moments before falling asleep, fantasizing about being held by someone who loved her.

The following morning, she decided to go to class. Hisao wouldn't be there but Hanako knew she had to prepare herself for whenever he was. They were in the same class and she wouldn't have a choice but to get used to it. She tentatively walked into the classroom to find everyone staring out the windows.

"It looks like they're coming from the track!" one student observed.

"Who is it?"

"Can't tell from here."

Whoever it was had been carried to the main gate where an ambulance was waiting right by the curb. The body was placed into a stretcher and lifted into an ambulance, which sped off down the road.

"Ahem," Mutou said from his desk. "Do you think we could get back to our seats?"

The students turned away from the window to do as he asked, but another interruption came when Shizune and Misha rushed into the classroom.

"What's going on out there?" asked Naomi Inoue, the girl who usually sat next to her. "Do you know who was taken to the hospital?!"

Shizune nodded and the whole class waited for her to start using her sign language, but it didn't seem like she would be able to. She was trembling just ever so slightly with a distraught look on her face that was downright shocking given the source. Hanako had never seen Shizune look so upset. Even though the class president was never particularly kind to her due to her rivalry with Lilly, Hanako still felt empathy for her in the moment.

Finally, Shizune nodded towards Misha and seemed to give her permission to break the news instead.

Misha took a deep breath. "It's…Hisao Nakai."

As the students began to gasp and murmur among themselves, Hanako broke away from the crowd and rushed out of the room. So much for going back to class.

Days passed before she worked up the strength to leave her room again. The uncertainty was getting to be too much so she furtively left campus to go to the hospital. As she walked, she anguished over how quickly everything had escalated. At first she was only worried that she might have gone too far with Hisao, now she had to worry about whether or not he was still alive.

Although she hated hospitals, one nice thing about them was that most of the people in them were busy. Doctors and nurses rushed around the hallways as she wandered unnoticed. Finally she arrived at Hisao's room where Emi Ibarazaki was sitting outside looking very agitated. Having gotten assurance that he was alive, she decided to leave before any other students saw her. Shizune was supposedly in his room and Hanako couldn't take one of her accusing stares in the emotional state she was in.

Lilly came home that night. It wasn't long before Hanako realized just how much she had missed her. Annoyed as she might have been by her overbearing tendencies, Hanako desperately needed someone she could trust. First came the tears, then the unsuccessful meeting with Hisao and another round of self-imposed house arrest in her room.

She could tell Lilly was making a serious effort to ease up on the controlling behavior, but her discomfort with Hanako's prolonged absence from class was still obvious. Eventually, she realized Lilly was right. A few days at a time was fine but it had been over two weeks since she last set foot in the classroom. Too much longer and her future at Yamaku could be at risk.

Her first day back at class was just as hard as she feared it would be. Hisao was only a few feet away, trying to remain focused on his work but clearly feeling the same unease. Hanako wanted so badly to reach some kind of resolution with him, so that they could get on with their lives. But she was afraid. Hisao had been caught off guard by her outburst but now he surely had plenty of time to digest everything that happened. During the meeting with Lilly, he had poured his heart out only to be met with silence. If only she hadn't been so overwhelmed. If only she had been able to say something. He must have been furious with her. She didn't dare find out.

If Emi had seen how fast she got out of class that day, Hanako might have been invited to join the track team. It didn't work out so well the next day, however, as two of her classmates caught her in mid-retreat.

"Hanako, wait a minute!" It was Naomi. She turned around, politely acknowledging her classmate while still prepared to rush off at any moment.

"We could use some help at the newspaper club," Naomi continued. "We have a small staff and I was wondering if you would like to join us."

Hanako didn't know what to say.

"It will be fun!" added Natsume Ooe, who sat on Naomi's other side. "Don't worry, we won't make you go out and interview people or anything like that. We're looking for some help with the layouts, proofreading…that kind of stuff."

It would have been easy to tell them no and head out, but something stopped her. The newspaper club would be a distraction at a time when she really needed one.

"Okay," she finally said. "I'll…I'll help out."

"That's great!" Naomi said, practically bursting with excitement. "We'll be working on the next edition tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you there!"

With her nerves calmed, Hanako decided to visit the library for the first time in weeks. It would be nice to rest in her trusty beanbag chair and read for a while.  
Over the next few days, her life finally began to settle back into a familiar routine. It was still difficult to see Hisao in class every day, but spending time in the newspaper club and the library were nice ways to decompress. While looking over the page layouts one afternoon, Naomi approached her.

"Hey, Hanako. We were thinking of leaving a little early today and heading into the city. Do you want to come along?"

Hanako gave her a confused look. "Why?"

"I was hoping to get a yukata for Tanabata. It's coming up soon!"

"There's one store that has lots of them in all different colors," Natsume added.

"Oh," Hanako replied. "I…I don't think I'm going to Tanabata."

"Really?" Natsume asked. "But it's so much fun!"

"Let her be," Naomi said gently. "Let us know if you change your mind and maybe we can go tomorrow or the next day."

Hanako nodded. She didn't have any intention of going to the festival but it was kind of them to try and include her.

That evening, she and Lilly were having one of their tea drinking sessions and the topic of Tanabata came up again.

"I haven't finalized my plans yet," Lilly said. "Would you like to come with me?"

"Aren't you going to go with Hisao?" Hanako asked.

"I don't know. If you aren't going, I suppose I will. But he will have plenty of company. Shizune, Misha, Emi and Rin are all planning to meet there and walk the grounds together."

"Shizune?" Hanako asked. "Are you sure?"

"I know, I know." Lilly replied. "But a lot has changed in the last few weeks. I'm beginning to think she can be saved."

She chuckled at that but Hanako wasn't laughing. Shizune frightened her. She had been giving her some horrible looks ever since she returned to class. It had to have been because of Hisao. He had probably told all his friends what had happened. Who knows what awful things Shizune was signing that Misha was keeping quiet?

"I know how you breathe when you're nervous," Lilly said. "If you don't feel comfortable going to Tanabata, that's okay. And if you do, I can go with you and you won't have to deal with Shizune. Or if you want to wander and get some food on your own, that's fine too. Whatever you think is best."

Hanako wasn't used to Lilly talking like this. In the past, she would have insisted that Hanako step a little bit outside of her comfort zone for a special occasion. For her to make the effort required to break such habits meant that Lilly truly valued her friendship, which made her feel nice. She didn't want to keep Lilly from doing what she wanted to do.

"You should hang out with Hisao and the others," she said. "I don't think I'll go."

Hanako was being truthful but she didn't count on the surprise waiting for her back at her neighboring room. A large brown paper bag had been left at the foot of the door. She tentatively reached inside, nervous that it might be some kind of weird prank.

Instead, she pulled out a beautiful light purple yukata, one that would go nicely with her hair color. A sticky note was attached to it.

 _Just in case!_  
 _-Naomi and Natsume_

There was one more thing in the bag. It was a small hand fan with another note. She could use it to cover the burns on her face.

 _We thought this might make you feel more comfortable but, in my opinion, you don't need it._

As she placed the gifts back in the bag and opened the door to her room, Hanako began to weep. It wasn't the kind of crying she had been doing on and off for the last few weeks. It was tears of gratitude for finding people who cared. She took the yukata back out and held it in front of herself. She had never wanted a mirror in her room before but it would be useful now. She laid down in bed and decided she would go to Tanabata after all.

The day of the festival finally arrived. Hanako and her new friends were just finishing up the next edition of the student newspaper.

"Nice layouts," Naomi said, looking over Hanako's shoulder at the computer screen. "This is about all we can do for now. We'll get some pictures tonight and wrap this one up tomorrow morning."

"Sounds good to me," Natsume said. "I'm going to change into my yukata. Did you bring yours, Hanako?"

She nodded. "Thank you again. It's really beautiful."

Naomi chuckled. "Stop thanking us and put it on so we can see how it looks!"

The three of them found secluded corners of the room to change in. Naomi's yukata was a dark blue and Natsume's was a light red, almost pink. They looked beautiful but as soon as Hanako caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection of the blank computer screen, she flinched. Her long hair was down like it usually was, but the yukata exposed more of her neck than her normal school shirt with its trusty upturned collar. This was like going outside in her pajamas.

The others noticed and assured her she looked nice. They also must have anticipated this reaction and bought the fan as a pre-emptive counter to her anxiety. She flicked her wrist and opened it up and positioned it over the right side of her face.

"Feel any better?" Naomi asked.

"I think so," Hanako answered. "Let's go before I change my mind."

It was easy to get lost in her surroundings once the girls arrived at the festival. Hanako's eyes drifted to the origami cranes, the streamers and the setting sun slowly giving way to a sky full of stars. Naomi was focused on photography, politely asking people they passed if they wanted to pose for a newspaper picture. Almost all of them said yes except for Kenji, who was hidden behind a bench and rushed off into a bush when approached.

It was while they were waiting in a line for one of the food stands that Hanako saw them. Hisao walking down the main path with Lilly and four other girls. It was almost like staring at a rainbow - Lilly's yukata was a dark blue, Emi's was more of a lighter blue, Shizune wore red and Misha wore green. Rin Tezuka's yukata was by far the most striking, a gorgeous blend of orange and purple that was surely designed by an artist, if not Rin herself. It also looked like someone had styled her hair.

Hanako held the fan at just the right angle so that nobody would see her face as they walked past. She might have had to since they were so immersed in conversation. Naomi and Natsume noticed and looked expectantly at her, not sure what she would decide to do. Barely aware she was doing it, Hanako left the line of people and quietly followed the group.

The six of them stopped and began looking in different directions, perhaps trying to decide where to get their food. Hanako stopped short and threw up her fan again. The little accessory was proving to be more useful than anyone had expected. Her two friends were a few steps behind.

Hisao spoke up. "Um…before we start looking for food, I just want to say a few things."

The girls all turned to face him. While Hanako watched, Naomi crept up behind her.

"Eavesdropping?" she asked.

"I…I guess so."

"Don't be embarrassed," Naomi smiled. "I love doing this! Should I record it?"

"No!" Hanako said, almost blowing their cover. She hoped Naomi was joking. They turned their attention back to what was happening with the group.

"I just need to thank everyone," Hisao said slowly. "The first time I went to the hospital…I felt like it just…didn't matter much. Sure my parents came, that's their job, but it was like the rest of the world just didn't care. There was a girl who visited for a while but…she didn't want to deal with it. I should say she didn't want to deal with me. Nobody else from my school even bothered to call."

He paused for a few moments. The others clearly didn't know what to say. It seemed like Hisao was about to cry. "I was afraid to feel like that again…so afraid that I would have rather died. But it wasn't the same…because of you all. You all worked so hard to make sure I wasn't alone. I…I don't know how I can ever repay you…or what I did to deserve friends like you."

Tears had escaped from each of his eyes, but he was still composed. Emi was standing closest to him and he turned to face her. "I owe you my life."

She hugged him. "If you want to thank me, just hold on to it."

Rin was next to Emi. Hugging her could be awkward for obvious reasons but Hisao decided to go for it. She let her head rest briefly on his chest although her expression was still hard to read.

"You showed me part of myself I didn't even know was there," Hisao said. "Thanks for sharing some of your world with me."

"You're welcome," Rin said. It was a brief reply but there was definitely emotion in it.

Next was Shizune. Hisao looked at her for a moment and then slowly signed something, being extra careful with each gesture. The other girls looked at each other quizzically but thankfully Misha was there to translate.

"[Thank you so much for everything.]"

Shizune gave a small smile and then signed her response, which was much faster.

"[Not bad for an amateur.] Wahaha! Shicchan!"

"Oh I see," Hisao said. "Now that you're sure I'm okay, it's back to busting my balls."

After a much bigger smile, Shizune stepped forward and hugged him tightly. It looked like she was crying a little. In fact, they were all starting to look that way.  
Hisao hugged Misha and whispered something into her ear. Whatever it is, it clearly meant a lot to her.

"Thank you, Hicchan." she said quietly. In fact, Hanako had never heard her sound so quiet. What had he said?

Then there was Lilly, who had been very patient. Hisao looked nervous as he walked towards her.

"I thought if I saved you for last, I could come up with something good," he admitted. "But I don't know if I can come up with anything that's an appropriate enough response to everything you did for me. I-"

Lilly cut him off. "It's all right. You don't need to say any more."

Hanako felt a wave of conflicting emotions when she saw the two of them embrace. It was much more intimate that it had been with the others. It was obvious that there was a deep love between them. They wouldn't discover it tonight, maybe not even for the rest of the school year, but it was there.

Lilly had asked her a few times if she wanted her relationship with Hisao to move forward. At the time she had been thinking of the Hisao who smothered her with attention and yet kept himself at a distance. As far as that guy was concerned, Hanako would be content to let him go.

But that wasn't who she was looking at now. This person who had just made himself so vulnerable in front of all his closest friends. Hanako had never seen him cry before and now he was doing it out in public. Was this still Hisao? She wasn't sure she wanted to let this one go. If Hisao still felt the way he said he did, she had a chance. But was that what she wanted?

A loud voice jolted her out of her thoughts. "There you guys are! What gives? You just left the line for food without saying anything!"

Naomi turned to try and shush Natsume, but it was too late. Hisao and all the other girls looked in their direction. Hanako tried to throw up her fan again, but dropped it in her haste. Now everyone was staring and she could already feel her heart beating faster. She was about to sprint away when Hisao gently spoke to her.

"Hi, Hanako. Do you want to talk?"

She could only nod. Hisao gave the others a brief look and walked away from the group. Naomi and Natsume approached the other girls, maybe to give them a little bit of context for what had just happened.

"I'm…I'm sorry I was eavesdropping," Hanako said as they made their way back through the food stands.

"Don't be," he replied gently. "We're out here in public, anybody could have heard us. Your yukata looks great, by the way."

The unexpected compliment made her blush. "Thank you."

Things were still tentative as they picked the food they wanted and stood in line. Even though he seemed so different, Hanako still wondered if he was angry with her. Maybe he was worried too. They sat and ate their food while Hanako wondered just how to broach the elephant in the room, or if she should at all. A few minutes later, Hisao did it first.

"Hanako….are we….okay?"

"Well, I…I don't really know. I want to be."

"Yeah, me too."

There was another pause. Hanako felt nervous but then wondered if anything else needed to be said at this point. Why rush things? Maybe it was better just to get comfortable spending time with him again.

"Hisao…what did you say to Misha?"

He smiled. "I can tell you but you've got to keep it between us. It involves some really personal stuff for her."

"I won't tell."

"I told her that one day she would meet a girl who would love her the way that she deserves to be loved."

Hanako was surprised to hear that and yet it made perfect sense. Misha's extreme tolerance for Shizune's harsh demeanor suddenly came off very differently.

"That's…that's really nice," she said.

"She really helped me," Hisao replied. "They all did. I'm glad you have Naomi and Natsume because I know this was all really hard on you too."

She nodded, not sure of what to say. She still felt nervous even though everything was going fine. After finishing their food, they dumped the plates and utensils in a nearby trash can and walked out in a more open area. Hisao caught notice of a tree and sat down by its roots.

"Not as good as the Worry Tree but that's okay," he said. Hanako had no clue what that meant as he beckoned her over. When she sat down, he started to unbutton his shirt.

"Um…"

"Just my shirt," Hisao said. "I've been thinking and I wanted you to see something."

It didn't take long to understand what he was up to. There was a large scar on his chest, shaped like a single line that curved just a little bit. Nearby was another smaller scar that looked like it hadn't quite healed.

"This is from my surgery," he explained. "When I had the first heart attack at home and they cut my chest open. I've never shown this to anyone."

She reached out her hand, the one with the scarring on it, and gently touched his chest.

"This little one over here is from my most recent surgery. Keyhole surgery, they called it."

"Does…that one hurt still?"

"Nah," he said. "Still looks fresh, I know. Maybe you're wondering why I'm showing you this now…I guess I just wanted to let you know you're not the only one who is scarred."

Hanako took her hand slowly away from his chest and took his hand instead. She scooted a little bit closer and rested a head on his shoulder. He gave what sounded like a content sigh. She wondered if she should show him her scars, although that was obviously not something she could do outside.

There was so much she wanted to know about Hisao and for the first time, Hanako felt like he might tell her. There would be time for that. There would be time for whatever the future had in store for them. For now, looking at the stars and holding hands, that was enough.

 **The End**

 **Author's Note: Finally finished. This last one really came slowly but at the same time, I couldn't stand to rush it. Thanks to everyone who has read this.**

 **One last note about the Tanabata scenes - with the exception of Shizune and Misha, who wear yukatas in the game, the outfits for the other girls were mostly inspired by art I found on the internet. I want to give credit where I can.**  
 _ **Hanako yukata (purple) - Dracko Grimoire**_  
 _ **Rin (orange/purple) - CyzirVisheen**_  
 _ **Emi (light blue) - Pikabu**_  
 **I couldn't find a source for the blue Lilly yukata and nobody had done one for Natsume or Naomi so I just picked colors for them. Thanks again!**


End file.
